Sam Iles's Blog

I don’t know about you, but I took a ton of those job matching tests. I hear they’re called “Jobbos” in the USA, which is a funny name. Every time I did one I got a list of jobs I would obstensibly be suited to. Every time – hand to God – software programmer was on the list.

Mind you, it was often joined by such exciting career paths as “librarian” and “lawyer”.

But, software programmer was the one which stood out. I should say, I was programming before I took these tests. I started making websites when I was around eight years old. I had my first website on the line at around ten years old. I started writing the real software when I was around thirteen. Etc.

So, I was set by around age thirteen on software programmer. And, that’s what I do now and plan to do forever. In that, that’s where any money I have comes from.

And, I love it.

I remember a conversation in school re software programming. The general response was “wow, that sounds boring”. And, I guess it does. Writing line after line of words which don’t seem to do much for one’s fun metre…

Nevertheless, it does for mine. I literally love writing software.

Let me explain how it works. First, you have an idea for something to make. I have around fifty ideas written down in various places. This is the most exciting part. This all consuming tidal wave of thoughts which just won’t stop. Sometimes, all I can think about for days is that latest software idea. It’s a real rush.

Next, comes the general design and detailed planning. Drawing pictures, making notes, working everything out. Damn this is fun. Then, comes the actual planning of code. I love this part too. The experts call it ’software architecture’. It’s the bit where you design high the building will stand up and exactly how everything in it will work. Software architecture is about designing the code and exactly what you need to write. What database software will you use? How will things interact and happen?

Then, you have to write it. I love this bit too (surprisingly). The solving of problems is fantastic. Writing seemingly meaningless words on a screen and then watching as it does something. The incredible frustration when something doesn’t work and the inexplicable joy when you finally crack it. I have literally screamed and cheered in joy when something finally works after hours of fixing it.

I also love the sheer possibilities of software. There really is no limit to what you can put on the screen. Hardware is physical and limited. But, software isn’t. You could write a system with perfect, human level speech recognition. You could write a system which talks to humans and understands what you want perfectly. There are no limits: only the current version number of your software. At the risk of sounding like a unicorn infatuated six year old: if you can dream it, you can build it.

And that’s why I love writing software. I genuinely really enjoy it and it’s pretty much all I want to do forever.

This story is around two weeks old, but it was only brought to my attention today.

Controversial law firm ACS:Law has been in the news before. They were sending letters to people claiming they had illegally downloaded music and requesting a settlement of £495 – or, a court battle. A few people went to court, but of course most people didn’t bother and just paid up, knowing that going to court would cost them far more than the £495 even if they won.

But a few companies recently have started doing something slightly different – sending people letters claiming they’ve illegally downloaded pornographic material and requesting five-hundred pounds or so. Either pay up, or take us to court.

Take us to court and tell the world that you download porn. Who is going to do that?

You know what this is? It’s extortion. It’s blackmail. Period. Under any definition, this is blackmail. Telling a person to give you £500 or you’ll tell the world they download illegal porn – without any proof. That is blackmail. If the police want to collect evidence and charge you with a crime, then great. But, random law firms claiming you’ve done something without evidence and demanding money or they’ll reveal your secret? That’s bad.

This is an outrage, in fact. There should be laws against this. In fact, there are laws against this. Blackmail is illegal. Apparently, law doesn’t apply to law firms. Naturally, being a people which doesn’t care about our civil liberties one bit, the UK will just be quiet and take it. So, carry on, slaves.

I deleted my Facebook account about one year ago now. I had a few friends on there. I used it quite a bit, for posting status updates and uploading photos. Here is why.

I don’t want to spend every waking moment being told that my friend is a fan of “that awkward moment when your cat dies” or that they just found a lost sheep on FarmVille. I don’t care what you ate for tea. I don’t care what you’re watching on TV. I don’t care about the lyrics you want to quote at me. Sure, I know I can hide you from my stream and that’s great. But then, what’s the point in being your friend? I mean, if you have nothing interesting to say, why am I your friend? What could it possibly mean other than, “hear’s another human resource to make my total friends 234. However, I don’t care about them enough to listen to what they say”. I just don’t get it!

And then there’s the service itself. It’s just some service where you unload a bunch of personal information to the scrutiny of an onerous organisation. If I have Facebook, they know my name, where I live, my date of birth and age, my friends (and how friendly I am with them), my family (and how they’re related to me). Through its ingenious ‘fanning’ feature, they know the exact products I like, the types of movies I like and my interests. This information is gold to advertising companies and governments. Specifically addressing the latter, remember that the CIA is a big monetary investor in Facebook…

And of course people will say, “but you don’t have to do status updates, you don’t have to fan pages, you don’t have to tell them things”. Well then what is the point in having it? Just to collect a list of friends? Please.

If I want to have a place on the Internet where people can view everything they want to about me, I’ll make a webpage. I’ll go to wordpress.com and make a few pages or I can even make a blog. For free. If I want, I’ll host it myself with a web company – or even in my own house on my own physical server. I control what’s there and if I want it gone – and I mean gone – I just take a hammer to my server or hit the delete key and it is gone.

If I do something they don’t like, Facebook shuts down my account – without explanation. All my hard work is gone. All my friends are gone. And I don’t know why.

If I want to talk to my friends I will phone them or text them or email them. I had around 200 Facebook friends and I have around 80 contacts in my phone now. Clearly, I don’t need all those Facebook friends. I don’t really care about them or they’d be in my phone – I’d have a permanent way of contacting them. I don’t need it to keep in contact with old friends. The reason people don’t maintain contact with their friends from secondary school or old jobs isn’t because they haven’t had a digital, boring way to do it – it’s because they don’t want to. I don’t want to.

That’s why I like Twitter. With Twitter, all I do is send out short, simple messages when I want to. I don’t have to endure the boredom and pointlessness of apps or games or being poked or being compared to things. I also choose exactly what I want to see. I only follow one non-celebrity who I’ve seen in the flesh. Everyone else is people that I do not know whom I follow because they interest me or are funny. On Twitter, people upload one brilliant photo rather than 200 of themselves sat in a park. Facebook is different.

So here is my challenge to you: ask yourself, why do I need Facebook? What does this product give to my life? And, what do I give it? Do I care about it? Does it take up my time? Am I ok with using it for ten minutes per day? Do I really enjoy it? Do I care about these people? If the answers are no, I say, why not delete it? Go on, try it! Be brave! And just just deactivate – I mean delete.

Facebook is a mess of boring events and boring people. Facebook is just a closed system for the masses who can’t make a website. There’s no reason why anyone should have Facebook unless it’s through some desperate means of realising your self-worth or finding lost relatives.